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Daily Update April 01 2022
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My goodbye letter to Kyle.

Dear Kyle,  March 31 2022 8 pm

I have never been disrespected more than what you have done to me in the past 3 weeks and continue to do right up until the deadline of midnight the last day of March 2022

Your actions are equivalent now and the same as when the thief left in the middle of the night stealing my laptop, cell phone and ATM card.  No you didn't steal anything like that from me, but your actions towards me have been every bit as disrespectful and technically you have 3 hours left, but I think it's pretty clear that you are not coming home tonight or ever again. 

To repay all my kindness and hours I have invested in you to help you grow up and learn how to live and have a good life, from teaching you how to cook and clean to learning how to use a computer, and this is how you repay me with Lies Lies and More Lies. 

You are right Kyle, You don't deserve me and I guess God knew that as he knows everything that is going on, what you have done for the last 3 weeks etc and you are still too stupid to understand that GOD is in charge.  You think you are in charge but you are a fool.  God has taken you out of my life because God sees your heart and he knew that in order to protect me he had to get you out of my life. 

So think what you want to think, believe what you want to believe and lie to whomever you choose to lie to but you are not going to lie to me anymore nor am I going to allow you to disrespect me more.  In less than 3 hours now your good life is gone forever and you will never be allowed back into my life because you have become a dishonest girl and as you know I hate lies and being lied to and that is the deal breaker you have finally ended this relationship with.  You have become a dishonest girl who won't tell me the truth and so again, like you already know in your heart, YOU DO NOT DESERVE to have a wonderful nice partner like me.  God has taken that from you and I don't need to know why anymore. 

I know that God has protected me from you and whatever you had planned to do. 

I don't know if you are crying or not but you sure as hell should be because you just lost the best thing there is in life, someone who honestly loved and cared about you.  You destroyed your life and a good deal of mine as well, but I will go on and I will be happy again.  You have nothing but bad Karma coming your way and you will, just as Emily did, you will no longer be that beautiful Valentine's day girl but you will become like so many other Filipina girls. 

I don't wish you any unhappiness, you know I'm not like that but at the same time, I, just like God is doing, am going to withdraw my blessings from you and you will have to face the world alone from now on.  If you do ever have another partner, only then will you realize what you have thrown away and will never enjoy again, true love. 

From now on you will have a lower quality of life, even if you go back to work at an Electronics place again and make 15 to 18k a month, your life may be better than your sister's life, and how your parents live but it will never be the quality of life that you enjoyed with me. That is my prediction.

It's also my opinion that for the most part, people get what they deserve and you deserve to be unhappy, lonely, and without someone in your life that cares about you anymore like I cared about you.

You have thrown it all away and you deserve to reap what you have sown by the use of your own free agency.

I'm sorry I was not able to teach you better about the importance of Honesty as you clearly didn't understand how being honest is key to being happy in life.  As mad as I am at you for being so stupid as to allow all this to happen, I accept that there is much more going on in God's big picture than either you or I know right now.  We will both know more in time I suppose.

As far as I am concerned, I have decided to just have friends from now on.  Friends with pretty faces and friends that don't live at my home anymore.  No one stays overnight with me anymore so I don't have to worry about what they might do when I'm asleep.   It comes down to this Kyle.  After 20 years of life here, if Kyle can't be trusted, no Filipina girl can be trusted and so no one sleeps overnight at my house anymore, no one moves in with me anymore, and I don't have the responsibility of supporting a pretty face anymore.  That in and of itself will make me somewhere between 10 and 15k a month richer which will allow me to live a totally different lifestyle.  I'll have a new laptop a lot sooner and I will not do much cooking at home anymore because it's too much trouble for one person.  It's easier to just go buy food outside and now that is something I can afford to do from now on.  I will still fix a baked potato once in a while, and I'll still fix burgers and fries at home, but my lifestyle will change a lot with this decision to no longer allow someone to live with me. 

Clearly my best was just not good enough for you and so I'm just going to accept that and stop trying to believe that I can make a girl feel loved and content to be with me.  Evidently I can't.  Live and learn I guess.

You are welcome to follow my life by visiting my website and listening to my Daily updates and seeing the pictures of all the things you are no longer part of here.  Eventually you will stop following me or caring what is going on with me and you won't visit the website anymore.  Life goes on and where we both end up in 10 years time will not be known until the 10 years passes. 

I will focus more on my website now and spend more time answering emails and creating new content for the website and now that I'm rich, and going to be a lot richer this next year as the COLA raise alone will be over 8% pusing me well up over $900 a month perhaps as high as $950 a month and so not having a partner to support anymore and having another 5000 pesos a month on top of that pretty soon will make my life right here in this little apartment that much more comfortable. 

I'll probably get a new Spit type Air conditioner sometime next year so it can have one unit here over this Window and another one in the Living room over the door that will keep the whole house comfortable all the time and probably cost a little less than it's costing me now as with new technology and efficiency I'll probably end up a little better in that area as well.

I will be buying a new power washer so I can clean the bikes easily and also the front porch with just a wand in my hand and high water sprayer which will make it easy for an older man to keep it clean by himself. 

I will be able to hire someone to help me when the time comes that I need that so I'm optimistic about the future.  I have NO plans for leaving this location as it's just getting better and better all the time here.  I don't know what they did at the Barangay Water set up but the water has become CLEAN and clear and that's a nice improvement  and the workers told me that all the new road work will be finished in about 2 months. 

I do plan to get a hub motor conversion kit set up on my bike so I will be able to get out easier and not have to walk so much and that will allow me to go out and be among the people again and run my errands that much easier by myself.

So you don't need to worry about me or feel sorry for me, I'll be just fine without you here taking advantage of me.  Hopefully you will learn from your mistakes and you will make wiser decisions in the future in connection with your life.

You are not the first girl to walk out on me after I have been so good to them, but you might be the last as I am not anxious at this point to allow anyone to live in my house anymore or have the responsibility of training and teaching another filipina the way I helped you.  You have proven to me that no matter what I do, it's not enough to keep a Filipina happy for more than a few years. 

I have been trying to find someone for 20 years that actually wanted to be loved and respected and cared for who just would be happy to have a good man who made them feel loved and secure but I'm pretty much giving up on that dream.  I don't think there are any girls like that anymore.  It's just a silly dream I had that I would find someone who would appreciate who I was, and would want my hugs and kisses and would want to share intimacy with me and would be happy just to have a good secure life, nice place to live, the comfort of air conditioning and the benefits of things like having wifi 24/7 in their home and no money problems. 

When I talk to girls they all say that is all they want but then you give it to them and it's not enough for them to be content in life and just be happy.  So I'll do something else with my life from now on that doesn't include supporting a Filipina who will just eventually leave me anyhow or perhaps, steal from me or hurt me as you have done and disrespect me in my home as you have done so many times. 

It's time for Randy to just take care of Randy and be happy doing his Website, and improving his life with the kinds of things I have mentioned here in that I will now be able to afford to do if I don't support another ungrateful filipina. 

There is a lot more to life than sex and I have had my fair share of sex up to this point in life.  I'm going to look for other things now that can make my life more comfortable and easy for me as I get older.  I plan to live well into my 80's just as Reed has done and so I'm looking forward to the next 10 years and changing my lifestyle so that all those resources I have been giving away to others will now, for the most part, just benefit my own life. 

It's time for Randy to take care of Randy since you don't want that job anymore

I wish you all the best Kyle and I mean that.  As my song says, Time only stands still. I will remember you as the good Kyle, just as I remember the good Jody and the good Emily and the good Christine and the good Indy of bohol, you all will stay in my heart forever just as I choose to remember you but you will no longer be part of my present day life.  All of you including my x wife in the USA have turned your back on me and walked away.

I hope you do better than the others have done, once they walked away from me.

Goodbye my one time best friend
I will miss you
Randy


No more chances
Written by Randy
April 01 2022

Dear Kyle
I can't believe you can be confused about us anymore.  I have been clear.  The last letter I wrote to you told you will no longer let anyone live at my house.  That letter is posted on the update today, April 01 that I will be posting in a few hours from now.  You are welcome to read it again on the April 01 Daily Update in My Living Journal.

You can't hurt me anymore, nor take advantage of  me anymore.  You have lost me for one simple reason.  You have become a dishonest girl that I can't trust and so living with me is no longer an option for you.  I make the rules for my life and you are free to make the rules for your life.  I won't share my life and live with someone who constantly disrespects me and lies to me. 

You left with the intention of never coming back for whatever reasons you decided that.  I did my best to try and prevent you from destroying this relationship but I failed in that attempt.  You chose to continue to lie to me for 3 weeks.  That is what cost you this relationship.  LIES. 

You are no longer my greatest blessing, I have accepted the fact that you no longer qualify to be my partner.  You are not the same person that used to live with me anymore.  I don't know why you changed or what you have been up to.  I don't know if you are pregnant or not and I don't know what you have been doing for 3 weeks.  I just know that you have lied to me repeatedly and that has destroyed your chance to be my partner now that you didn't do what I told you to do if you wanted to continue to be my partner. 

You don't tell me, when you are coming home as if you have the right to live with me whether I want that or not anymore.  This is not your home anymore.  I am not your partner anymore and I'm nor longer responsible for your happiness, security or your well being.  

God has protected me by taking you out of my life.  You had several chances and a total of 10 extra days past the 21 which is what I agreed to when you left that you would return on the 21.

I would be a fool to let you return at your leisure and just move back in.  I would live in fear every day that you would do to me exactly what the thief did.  She just needed ONE more day to hurt me a little more.  It's simple Kyle, You can't be trusted anymore.  End of Relationship.  You were taught, told, and instructed upon this subject many times over 3 years.  My conscience is clear and my duty to God caring for you is over and I know God is ok with that.  He knows the truth of what you have done and how you have taken me for granted over and over and showed me disrespect over and over, and refused to do your part in our previous relationship.  God said enough is enough and I agree with God.

Maybe you are pregnant, and God knew that was only one or many dishonest things you were doing that I didn't know about and maybe even though I was willing to accept you back Pregnant, God felt that was not right for you to put that additional burden on my life at this late stage of my life.  The cost of raising a child is significant and maybe it just was not right that I take that responsibility upon myself as God can see the future and I can't.  But I trust his decision and I have faith in my own decision that it's right for me to let you go and not allow you to return since you didn't choose to do that when you had the chance.

Kyle, lies destroy.  Trust builds faith.  I live by faith.  Your lies destroyed your good life and changed my life significantly.  Just learn from this experience and don't make the same mistakes if you get a chance for a relationship in the future.  Lies destroy relationships.  Sometimes they destroy the relationship in a day or less.  Cheating on your partner, as they call it, when you have sex with someone else behind your partners back without their permission or knowledge is most often why a girl leaves her husband/partner because that one dishonest act, for some people can destroy everything and I know you have seen that happen many times already in 26 years of living.

I was more than fair and patient with you and gave you more chances than you deserved to return and save this relationship.  You chose not to do that.  So there is no more relationship now.  It's as simple as that!  I can't live with you anymore because you can no longer be trusted, just like I would never let the thief back in my life, it's now the same with you.  I can't live in fear, I live by faith and if I let you come back and move in I would live in fear every day of my life from now on and I won't live that way.

You have proven yourself to be someone who can't be trusted.  I love you, but I can't trust you anymore and you did that Kyle, not me, but your actions have caused that to be the reality I must now accept. 

You need to accept it too and move on with your life.  I have put what was left of your things, your panties on the porch and anything else you left here in a trash sack already and I will be taking it out to the trash pile today.  It breaks my heart to do that but you have left me with no other choice.

As I said before, I do not wish you any harm or unhappiness.  I hope you can change your life and become an honest person again and I'm sure that God will forgive you once you repent and change but as of Today you are no longer my concern and if everything I have said isn't clear enough, to answer your question sent to me in your last text....NO I will not accept you and let you move back into my life if you come back to this area next week, next month or next year.  I can't live with a person who can't be trusted and you had 3 years to build trust and prove that you were an honest girl that I could count on and the bottom line is after 3 years, you have proven yourself to now be a girl who can't be trusted and that is as I have told you before, a deal breaker. 

Best of luck to you
Randy